Here are some articles written by Ben. This is in no way
a complete collection of his work, but it's all that is online.
CBS Sunday Morning Commentary:
03/16/2008 - Elections More Important Than Call Girls
03/02/2008 - A Breathtaking Election
01/06/2008 - Politicians and Change
12/16/2007 - What Makes a "Good" Christmas?
11/11/2007 - Ben Stein Thanks Veterans
10/28/2007 - Geopolitics and High Heels
09/02/2007 - Craig Was Lynched Twice
08/19/2007 - "Chill" Over Market Dips
06/10/2007 - Why Should I Care?
05/27/2007 - Blanche Dubois Was Right
02/18/2007 - Rich Get Richer While War Rages On
01/28/2007 - Bush is Not All Bad
12/31/2006 - Remembering President Ford
11/26/2006 - America the Beautiful
10/08/2006 - Is Foley That Big A Deal?
3/5/2006 - Retirement and Baby Boomers
06/26/2005 - Religion and Politics
11/28/2004 - Retirement Planning
10/10/2004 - Col. Dale Denman, Jr.
Yahoo! - How Not to Ruin Your Life:
2008:
Irrational Times Call for Rational Measures
Homeowners and Investors, Time to Get Real
Take the Bait, Ruin Your Investing Life
2007:
Bursting the Economic-Fear Bubble
Market Fluctuations and Subprime Morality
All Play and No Work Makes for a Poor Life
Arm Yourself for Job Fulfillment and Retirement Bliss
Recession-Proof Your Investment Strategy
Anticipating All the Retirement Variables
Old-School Lessons for the College-Bound
How Speculators Exploit Market Fears
A Peace Offering for Your Retirement
A View of the Economy from Abroad
Time Flies When You're Unprepared
Simple Pleasures Include Financial Security
How to Have a Business Conversation
Six Key Principles of Saving for Retirement
The Long and Short of Down-Market Investing
Keeping Your Cool in a Shaky Market
To Get Rich, Just Follow the Instructions
A Home Truth About Real Estate Investing
Investing Strategies for the New Year
2006:
Success is All in a Day's Work
Lessons from an Economic Maestro
A Formula for Long-Term Happiness
What to Do When a Boom Goes Bust
Signed, Sealed, Delivered, It's Yours
A Lifetime of Perfect Summer Days
Storm Warnings: What Katrina Taught Us
Do I Hear Cannons? Must Be Time to Buy
The Best Investment You'll Ever Make
Your Golden Years Don't Have to be Tarnished
Wise Words for Getting Ahead in Your Career
How to Succeed in Hollywood -- and Anywhere Else
After Enron, Corporate Wrongdoing Still Thrives
High Oil Prices: Don't Shoot the Messengers
Work Adds Shine to Your Golden Years
The Cruel Truth About Retirement
Three Big Mistakes in Retirement Planning
Who's To Blame for High Oil and Gas Prices?
Standards of Life in the Future: Think Grim
Trade with China: More Gain than Pain for Americans
Living Hand to Mouth -- and Barely Getting By
Income That Lasts as Long as You Need It
A Retirement Portfolio with Staying Power
2005:
When Investing, Profit from Serenity
I Love You Alan Greenspan, But...
A Model Portfolio for Weathering Retirement
The Early Bird Gets the Nest Egg
The Cure for Interesting Times? Money
American Spectator - Ben Stein's Diary:
July/August 2006 - On the Road Again
October 2005 - Unshared Sacrifice
December 2004/January 2005 - Special Deliverance
September 2004 - Swimming to Arkansas
October 2003 - Preserving the Civil War
August/September 2003 - Spiders with Tenure
American Spectator - Other:
The Cost of the War on Terrorism
Iraq and North Korea in Cahoots?
E! Online - Articles:
Do Jews
Run Hollywood?
E! Online - Monday Night at Morton's:
2003:
How Can Someone Who Lives in Insane Luxury Be a Star in Today's World? (the often forwarded final column)
The Problem in Our Lives is Powerlessness -- the Solution Is Also Powerlessness
I Was Part of the In-Crowd -- and That's A Sweet Feeling, Here or Anywhere
Take a Fair Position and Stick to It--and You'll Almost Always Get It
Heaven Help Us if We Live in a Town Where Men Deserve Pity Because They Are Addicted to Shoes
Gray Davis Is the Eminem of California Politics, Only Without the Great Beat
Rap Amuses Me and Makes Me Think--but What Do White Suburban Kids Like My Son See in It?
This Is the Way of the Armed Forces: Team Playing to Protect a Nation Only Barely Aware They Exist
Hollywood Is About Leaving 'Em Laughing When You Go
All Those Years in the GOP Vineyards, All Those Years at Yale --None of That Means a Thing
Come Along for a Little Rap I Like to Call Saddam Insane
A Society That Does Not Care for Those Who Care for Us Will Not -- and Should Not -- Last
The United States is Strong in the Hearts of Americans at This Moment When We Are Under Siege
There Is a Lot Going on Out in the World -- and a Lot of It Is Being Done by People Braver Than I
I Am Still Totally Insane -- but at Least I Have a Home in Which to be Insane
We Tend to Think When Terrible Things Happen It's the End, but It's Always A New Beginning
2002:
How to Get Started in Hollywood? Have Smart, Kind, Well-Connected Friends
How Sweet Our Childhoods Seem -- for the Youth but, More Important, for the Safety
Kids in Cities Today Never Knew Any Calm -- the Revolution of Fear Is the Revolution of Our Era
A Man from Mars Would've Thought There Were Only a Few Blacks in America in the '40s and 50s
Why Is Such a Huge Deal Being Made over Martha Stewart?
There Are Happy People in Hollywood, but for Each of Them, How Many Are in Torment?
"She's Holding Your Article over Me While I'm in Bed Without Any Clothes"
Men in Black II is the Best Movie I Have Seen in Years -- but There is One Little Problem
The Day Will Come When You Are Begging Your Parents' Friends for a Remembrance
I Can't Get My Mind Off Robert Blake -- What a Nut, but What a Likable Nut
I Can Feel the Fear and Tension Ebbing Away
Maybe We Need to Consider This a Tale of Ovitz Envy
No Movie or TV Show Ever Created Is As Haunting As Hollywood Itself
Stardom? Courage? I Saw Both in the Hollow Eyes of a Small Child
The Losers in This Town Disdain Work -- the Winners Embrace It
I Think I'll Stay At Morton's Now, Where I Am Safe
2001:
I Started to Cry As I Walked Up Rodeo Drive, and My Wife Asked Me Why
People in Hollywood Are Not Sensible -- They Throw Away Their Lives on Dreams
When You're A Big Star, You're the World's Property
The Hollywood Type: Self-Obsessed, Rude Babies -- But Cute in the Nakedness of Their Self-Importance
If Hollywood Were Running the Show, There Would Be No Wars
Fun, Fun, Fun Until the Terrorists Take My T-Bird Away
This Country is Not Weaker Now, It’s Stronger
In the Eyes of Those Cops and Firemen, I Was Blessed Enough to See the Chimes of Freedom Flashing
Hardly Anyone Can Imagine How Sweet Life Was Before the Revolution
Yeah, I’m Older Than You, but I’ve Also Had a Lot More Fun
All I Can Think About is Paul McCartney. Why? Why Is It So Exciting to Meet Him?
It’s a Total Myth that Movie Companies Boom in Bad Times
I Keep Thinking of the Lessons I learned in the 25 Years I've Been in Hollywood
It's Not True that Celebrities Are Selfish Punks -- They Often Have Very Good Hearts
I Have No Thoughts to Spend on the Material Girl -- We Are All Too Busy Being Material Boys
I Really Look Like a Very Jewish Version of the King
Life in Los Angeles is More Unforgiving Than Life in the Outback
The Farther You Get From D.C. and the Smug Guys and Dolls, the Happier People Are
How Come All of These Guys Are So Thin? I Suspect They've Made a Pact with the Devil
Of the Kindest People I Have Ever Met, Almost All of Them Are in Hollywood
"We Could All Go Back to Your House," Said the Woman Who Swings
Deep Inside, I'm a Rock 'n' Roller -- That's Who I Really and Truly Am
A Large Group Is Shouting "Ben Stein for President..."
To Live in This Town, You Must Be Tough, Tough, Tough, Tough, Tough, Tough,
Tough
2000:
The Country Started Out Close to Perfect, and It's Better Than Ever -- Plus, Tom Hanks Lives Here
Tonight, I Get to Be Honored by Sitting with Heroes
Vitamin C Taught Me a Dance That Involves Shaking My Thighs
I Had Hardly Ever Met Such an Interesting Psychological Case as Jenna Jameson
She Seems to Have No Idea I Am a Major Star, but That's All Right
Can You Even Imagine How Great It Is to Be a Star of Jennifer Aniston's Level?
Tim Allen is Every Bit as Cheerful as Jay Leno is Sharp and Dour
I Hate That the Conventions Are Over -- They've Been A Lot More Fun Than Working
This Is the Civil, Good-Natured America of a Frank Capra Movie
I Sure Love Sarah Jessica, but I Just Do Not Get Sex and the City
We Stars All Wave to One Another As If We Know Each Other
Little Did I Dream I Would Ever Be Walking on a Red Carpet with Daytime TV Stars
I Would Pay His Mortgage for Drew Carey to Be My Next-Door Neighbor
It's All About Hollywood -- New York Was the Center of the Universe Until L.A. Came Along
The Handmaiden of All This Money Is Fear of What Happens If It Goes Away
All Women in L.A. Look Unhappy All the Time
Regis Has the Best Job and the Best Pay; I Have the Hardest and the Worst
That's the Difference Between Doing Things and Writing About Things
They'd Been Lied to So Many Times, They No Longer Believed Anyone
I Didn't Even Know There Was a Dawson
I Want to Be Like Grace Kelly in Rear Window
Being a Star Would Not Have Stopped a Bullet
1999:
In Washington, There are Nice People, but What Can They Do for Me or Maya?
In Hollywood, the Smart Get Defeated and Lose Hope, While the Stupid Become Billionaires
Stars Are Nice, and Fame Pays the Mortgage, but Puppy Is Life
I Just Work on Maggie's Farm Like the Rest of the Talk-Show Hosts
I Never, Ever Experience a True Miasma of Meaninglessness Until I Came Back to Hollywood
To My Parents, Morton's, with Its Ranks of Bentleys and Porsches, Was a Mystery of Pretention
You Can Get to the Middle Here, Even If You're Not Very Tough
I Love Being a Star This Week More Than I Ever Have Before
Blacklist? There Never Was a List. We Did it All on the Phone
Going Home, up Outpost Drive, I Smell Star Jasmine the Whole Way
Michael Eisner Was Not Born with Mouse Ears on His Head
Hollywood Really Is a Machine for Redressing Childhood Slights
If a Man Finds a Good-Looking Woman in Hollywood, He Doesn't Marry Her, He Rents Her
I Wonder If They Show the Emmys in Heaven
None of Them Had a Smile Like Sharon Stone
I Have to Make a List of All the People in My Life Who Are Asking for Favors
Here in Hollywood, It's Good to Be Greeted by a Studio Head, Not Good to Be Ignored by One
In Hollywood, It's All A Question of Servants and Masters--or Servants and Mistresses
If You're Rich Enough, You Can Just Behave in Any Crazy Way You Want
If They Are All Rich, I Am Probably Rich, Too
Maybe Rose McGowan Sleeps with a Teddy Bear
I Ask Roseanne If She Wants to Join Us - She Shakes Her Head
Here's Proof of One of My Major Laws of Hollywood Women
Hollywood Is High School with Money
1998:
Happy Holidays from the Promised Land
The Silicone Valley, or One of the Many Silicone Valleys in Morton's
Why Did Tom Hanks Look So Worried? I Wasn't Going to Hurt Him!
He Is So Successful That It's Amazing His Feet Touch Ground. But That Hair!
A Website Called Jew Alert Seems a Long Way from Morton's
Where Do the Cool People Hang Out When It's Not Monday Night At Morton's?
What's Important Is That There Are All of These Girls
Why Bother to Have Such Thoughts at Morton's? It's Almost Treason
And There in the Back Was Arsenio, Laughing and Scratching
Since When Did 'Morally Deserving' Have Anything to Do with Getting Anywhere in Hollywood?
That Was A Trick To Make Us Want Your Show Even More, Right?
I Get People Saying 'Bueller, Bueller' to Me All the Time. I Don't Like It
He Doesn't Look Like A Younger Tom Mount, He Looks Like An Entirely Different
Tom Mount
I Have A Stalker -- A Maniac. Actually, Two Maniacs
I Have to Write A Check to the IRS, So Maybe You'll Buy Dessert
That's Tommy Hilfiger -- Should I Ask Him To Join Us?
I'm Trying To Count How Many Men I've Gone Down On To Get My Movie Made
This Place is About Success, Not About Trials and Tribulations
Someone Is Putting Ether Into Their Glasses
What Can It Mean That Scary People Are All Around Me?
I Feel As If Someone Has Dropped a Bomb on Morton's Tonight -- A C-Bomb!
People Are Noticing Me These Days, And I Like That
Don't Tell Anyone What I Said About Universal...It's Scary There, and People Can Get Fired
1997:
I'm Just Too Old and Set in My Dylan Ways
Hey, Can We Get a Gulfstream V?
What Luck for Me That the Kung Fu Guy Is There to Take Care of Me
Smiling Faces, Smiling Faces, Tell Lies...
It's Like Everyone Here is Underwater Tonight
I Love This Little Lizard - He's My New Pal At Morton's
Not Everyone Has A Game Show, Says The Real-Estate Woman
What's Three Billion in the Bank if You Can't Get Your Food Done Right?
The Chest Sizes of the Women at Morton's Have Exploded
When You Have a Lamborghini Countach, You Can Park Anywhere and Never Get Towed
That Bitch! She Ruined the Premiere of My Show
If My Show Is A Hit, I'll Have to Get Used to This
I Don't Recall That Morton's Was Always So Filled with Call Girls
What If Something Happens to Harrison Ford on That Plane?
How Much Do You Make From That? Enough to Buy Me a Condo?
Why Can't They Turn Down the Noise?
What A World: Money Is Everything, and a Person I Like Is For Sale
It Breaks My Heart To Say It, But Somehow Larry King and Henry Kissinger Look Alike
The Real Lines In Life Are Between the Big Scammers and the Small
I'd Hug Everyone Else Who Was a Disney Director, Too, If I Were One
He Has A Million Girls, So I Guess We're Finished
We're All For Sale - Except Maybe Wanda and Richard from West Virginia
The Place Was Like A Zoo of Rich Animals
Morton's Is About Making Money, Not Giving It Away
What Must It Be Like to be Young Like Jason Priestley?
1996:
Commerce Is Our Goal Here in L.A.
Sylvester Stallone and I Went to the Same Junior High School
My Grandfather Had a Duel with the Red Baron
Whatever Anyone Says at Morton's Is True
How Can This City Be So Rich When People in It Have Such Wacky Ideas?
What Do They Want? Why Are They Here?
Martin Davis is Roughing it Tonight
I Didn't See You in Hit and Run
Other Articles:
The Dream That Once Was Detroit
Fox News Interview on Congress Power Shift and the Economy
In Class Warfare, Guess Which Class is Winning
Looking for the Will Beyond the Battlefield
Fourth is a Time of Celebration, But Also of Gratitude
A City on a Hill, or a Looting Opportunity
Ithaca College Commencement Address
How to Ruin American Enterprise
Just for Today
Affirmations
Why You Should Stop
Worrying and Learn to Love the Market
My Father's
Estate
My Family Values
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